Lliam will soon be 12 - less than a month away. Our usual tradition is to spend the night in a hotel so he can go swimming. This year, he mentioned that he wanted a backyard bug safari party. So like any good mother, I have been looking into ideas for such a party. It shouldn't be too terribly difficult.
He had also mentioned that he really liked a certain BB gun he saw at Traderbaker's. Well, we went ahead and bought the gun. We were going to save it for his birthday, but decided to give it to him early. Now my husband just bought the gun today and was going to give it to him this weekend. Why would we give it to him early? Well, he's been through so much lately, including having to change schools in the middle of the year. Hard enough for a regular kid, almost impossible for a special needs kid who HATES changes. He's been doing very well and we thought we would just reward that awesome behavior.
When he was picked up from school today, he asked if the gun was still at the store. His dad told him someone had bought it. OMG....the world just ended. Lliam started crying and blubbering about stupid people and he never gets anything. Lance was trying to get him to calm down and finally shouted out that HE had bought the gun as a surprise for him. Lliam calmed down then said he didn't want a birthday party and didn't want to stay at a hotel for his birthday this year.
Now I ask, was this a statement of stubbornness or was he feeling guilty for blowing up and acting out?
He called me and said he didn't want anything for his birthday. I asked him why several times, but he would only say he didn't know why, he just didn't want that this year. Is he finally realizing that people can do nice things on other days besides Christmas and birthdays?
I hope so, because we do nice things all the time for him. Take the new dog for instance. She wasn't in the budget right now, but she seemed like a perfect fit for him. I rearranged a few things and came up with the money for her. I don't know. It seems like to me that he doesn't always see the nice things, just the times he doesn't get what he wants. That's when we hear what terrible parents we are. How nice. Oh, I know, every parent gets told at one time or another how horrible they are. It's inevitable. It's part of growing up and finding out there are rules and limits to everything. All I can do is hope that someday he sees the light.
1 comment:
BIG HUGS!! I have two daughter who are now in their 20's and let me tell you it was only recently that they have turned around and now appreciate me. Oh what a long road it has been but honestly it's worth it.
Not one parenting book I read warned me about the "change" in children. lol From sweet Angel to a head spinning monster. hee hee If I had a nickel for every time I had an eye roll, heavy sigh or the always hurtful way they had of making me feel like I was a horrible parent.
But time does heal all wounds and I hear that boys learn to appreciate their mother's quicker than girls.
hugs yo you
-missy- aka pennyhenny on MJ's Farmgirl
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