Sometimes in life a little heartbreak....

My grandfather is 96.  Four years from a century of being on Earth.  I knew it would happen sooner or later.  No, he hasn't passed on.  He's losing his memories.  June 9, 2012, my beautiful niece was married.  After the wedding, we stopped by Grandpa's house to visit.  He seemed to be doing just fine.  We were carrying on a conversation like usual.  Then it happened.  He looked at his 12-year-old grandson and said "And who is this fine looking young man?"  Lliam, being the sensitive type, burst into tears.  I kept cool, but I think I was in shock.  I suggested to Lliam that he go outside and try to find some rabbits.  I sent his daddy after him to try to explain what just happened.  Grandpa looked at me sort of stunned and asked "Did I say something to offend him?"  I said no, that he had just had a long day with the wedding and all.  He asked who got married.  I explained it was his great granddaughter.  He thought about it for a few minutes and asked again who the boy was that had been sitting next to me.  I had to fight the tears.  I explained it again.  Then I changed the subject.  I asked him if he wanted to send Jessica a check for a wedding gift.  "Who's Jessica?"  I explained it again.  He decided he had better send one if she was his granddaughter.  I wrote the check out for $50 and let him sign it.  I also wrote a note explaining who, why and how much so when my mom visited next, she could explain it to him again.  I also balanced his check book and wrote on the bottom of the check "wedding gift" so he wouldn't think someone had just coerced him to give them money that he didn't know.

I had been given a warning about what was happening earlier in the day, but it didn't register until that moment.  My brother had explained to me that when he and his son were out to visit the day before, the exact same thing happened with his son.  It's heartbreaking when someone you love with all your heart doesn't have a clue who you are.

On the ride home, Lliam was still weepy so I tried to explain in a way that he might better understand.  Here's what I came up with on the fly.  "Lliam, you know when it is really, really foggy outside and you want to pull back the fog like curtains so you can see better?"
"Yeah."
"Well, that's kind of how it is in Grandpa's mind.  We are all in there somewhere, but he can't find us. It's sad, I know, but it happens to most older people.  Sometimes it happens way before this age, but it does happen. He's losing his memories in the fog."
"Oh."
"You know what else I think?  I think that when he goes to heaven to be with Grandma, he will remember every single thing that has ever happened in his life.  I also think that when he remembers something that involves you, that's when you think of a fond memory of him."
A small smile appeared.  "Dad, can we go fishing when we go camping?"

Here forever....

This is a Star Wars token and a polished black rock that were found among the debris after the house was demolished.  The person who found the token is who poured the concrete.  He thought is would be neat to put it in the cement footer.  

The same day, Lliam found this polished black rock from his rock collection in the dirt and Buddy said he could put it in there too.  I think it is awesome for Lliam to be a part of the construction process on the new house.  I know he's been struggling with losing all of his possessions.  He's had a hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that 'things' can be replaced.  Take his 'Pooh Blanket', an item he's had since day one.  After the fire we couldn't find it and figured it was lost forever.  I got it in my head to try to find another blanket that looked just like it and I did.  I even found the binding I had used too.  I wrapped it up and gave it to Lliam for Christmas.  He nearly cried and so did I.  He loved it, but said it wasn't the same.  I told him I knew it wasn't the same, but at least he had something tangible to hold on to when he wanted to remember his blanket.  

Then, last week, a minor miracle occurred.  During the demolition of the house, Lance and Lliam went up to watch.  During one swipe of the bucket on the backhoe, a flash of pastel color appeared.  Instantly Lliam knew what it was. He waved his arms wildly and yelled for the equipment to stop. Lance had to hold him back until the workers could get it shut down. Lliam sprinted up to the pile.  There among the rubble was his beloved 'Pooh Blanket'.  It was slightly burnt and had smoke damage, but it was intact.  He was so happy!  So am I.  

Indiana Sunsets

Some Indiana sunsets as seen while driving home.

Waiting for Spring to arrive.

I am at work today looking out the window. It's been raining most of the day. The wind is making the trees dance and clouds swirl. My husband is at home watching the Big 10 tournament. Yep, its March in Indiana. I am ready to play in the dirt of my garden. I love planting things and watching them grow. I love to eat fresh veggies right from the garden. I enjoy watching the butterflies and bees on their daily flower visits and listening to the birds sing. I can hardly stand living in town - I want to be back on my farm. That house won't be done soon enough!

I long to be outside with my son watching him explore the world of nature and learning from it. He'll be 12 very soon and not too long after that he'll be out in the world on his own. It chokes me up just thinking about it. Have I done everything I can for him? Have I taught him well enough to make it on his own? Have I made him understand that I will love him no matter what? That he can come to me with any question and I will help him find the answer?

Why are Dogs so hard to adopt?

Keep in mind that this is my opinion and if you don't like it - you don't have to continue to read it.

Now don't misconstrue that question. I understand that the rescues and shelters don't want people adopting hoards of animals only to get them back later. Can someone please tell me though, why do they have to make it so damn hard? I am on the lookout for a good companion dog for my autistic son. I want a larger breed, but not too big. He want s a dog to wrestle with. I also have to keep in mind that we have 2 other small dogs and 2 cats. I know, too, that I will probably be doing most of the caring for this animal. I was on a pet finding website today like many times before looking at pictures and reading descriptions. There were so many stipulations - it made me not want to get a dog from a rescue or shelter. Here's my beef with the whole thing......

Most places do background checks to make sure you can afford to care for the animal.

They want a visible fence in the yard - not invisible fence

They want proof of vet visits - even years later - Hello - ever heard of Holistic Pet care? You don't have to go to the vet for everything.

Some limit the number of people and animals in the home. - Hello? If someone has the money and time and love for animals - who cares?

The applications are very personal. They want to know your utilities, rent/mortgage, ins, grocery expenses - I'm sorry that's none of your freaking business!

Oh and there's the outrageous adoption fees. I understand that caring for animals is expensive, but to charge $250 or more for a dog that no one wanted - then complain about overcrowding? I have no problem with charging a fee to help cover food, overhead and what not, but some of that is just greed. Then to whine and beg for more money because they have too many animals! These places need to make adopting more appealing to the masses. Do the math.

Adoption fee $250

Vet visit $150 or more depending on your location

Food 1st bag $30 also depending on brand could be $15 to $100

Misc toys $50

Treats $30

Heartworm $75 again depending on breed of dog

Flea prev. $40 " "

Your already at $625 and you don't even have the dog home yet! Don't forget the leash, collar, crate and, if you do this, clothing! Your looking at close to a $1000 just to bring a dog home!

Now in my area, we have 2 kinds of vets - ones that charge for every little thing and one, only one, that will only charge what needs to be charged to cover costs and not try empty my wallet. The one vet wanted to charge me an office visit for each animal even though I was bringing them in all at one time. That was $120 just to walk in the door with 4 critter. Then it was $40 for this, $30 for that, $60 for that, $50 for the other. Oh and $180 for neutering an 8lb dog. $480 just for shots, testing and a minor procedure.

The less expensive vet charge $50 for all the testing and $70 for neutering. $120 vs $480 - where do you think I'm going to go? Unfortunately that vet is getting on in years and won't be around a whole lot longer. I am saddened to think that our community will lose a great country vet and be forced fed overpriced vet clinics.

Like I said before I have two dogs. One is a purebred mini dachshund that we paid a huge AKC price for. Then the breed ripped us off by never sending the AKC paperwork. Wanted another HUGE price for that! He's a sweet dog, but not very smart. Our other dog is a Finish Spitz/Chihuahua mix shelter dog that I adopted in 2007 for a whopping $10. He's the sweetest, smartest, most loyal animal I have ever had. As for the 2 cats (we had three but lost one in a house fire), they are barn cats that tugged on our heartstrings so much we had to bring them inside. The cat we lost in the fire was a shelter cat also. I adopted him in 2003. He was about 4 years old then. I'm guessing he was 11 or 12 at the time of the fire. His adoption fee was only $5 from a city shelter. His name was Zeke, but I called him my "Lil' Old Man". He loved to snuggle and if I sat down for more than 5 minutes he was in my lap.

So you see - I don't have a problem with shelter animals. It's the crazy demands and processes it now takes to adopt an animal from them. That being said, the next animal I take into my home will not be from an overpriced shelter, but from a free ad in the paper or on craigslist or something.

Shouldn't the dog be sleeping on the floor?